I try to stay together and let the good times in,
But it’s hard to resist when the greyness is already within.
Tears line a face that’s already scarred,
Then nothing can penetrate this heart that’s so hard.
Colours from life gradually fade into a negative,
Forcing me to question what it is I have left to give.
Pain is not physical but it’s real and exists in my head,
Withdrawing me from reality and thrusting me into a world of fear and dread.
I’m scared that time is failing and will soon disappear,
Irrational thoughts then consume me causing the onset of fear.
It leads me to retreat and hide within a shell,
As the doorway opens and I stare deeply into hell.
Nothing else left to do but make myself so tight and small,
I know you hate to see me collapse and fall.
It’s hard for you to witness as I’m compelled to scream and shout,
Sorry you have to see me when the medicine runs out.